I Don't Want Weight Loss Surgery

I'm just going to jump right into this post. Hey.

I had a doctors appointment earlier this week to go over a few things that I've been putting off (recurring shoulder dislocations, anxiety, and weight loss).

My shoulder recently partially dislocated again a couple weeks ago when I fell up the stairs, so I got a referral for physio. I've been having some anxiety attacks lately, so I was able to talk to her about that. I also requested full blood work to check my sugar, cholesterol, liver enzymes, etc. I want the full work up because I am actively trying to lose weight again- like I did 5 years ago when I lost 70lbs. I tried before my wedding, but just couldn't get into the right mindset for it, and I'm ready now. The blood work is so I can see where I'm starting from. I have gotten routine blood work every year and surprisingly, my levels are usually normal- normal blood sugar, cholesterol etc. Eventually they wont come back as normal, so I need to get back to my healthy former self asap before that happens.

At the end of my appointment, my doctor was casually looking through my file on her laptop and said "You know, you do qualify for the surgery"..

The surgery..

She said it so casually, like it's the same as removing a mole or something. As a Grey's Anatomy fan, I know what can happen during routine surgeries, and I'm not keen to have my stomach cut in half at this point in my life. I've watched the YouTube videos and it's not something I want to willingly sign up for. Some people think that surgery is the easy way out, but I think the opposite. The easy way out would be eating healthy and getting my ass to the gym as much as possible. I'm aware that sometimes that just doesn't work, but it's worked for me in the past and I need to make it work again. Part of me wonders if she mentioned it because she knows I'm terrified of surgery and she knew I would YouTube it, which would make me try hard to lose weight on my own.

Some things that may work against me are that I am 4-5 years older than the last time I tried to lose weight, I'm on birth control now, and I've had a child. I was also previously on an anti depressant which caused me to gain around 20 lbs. I've been off the anti depressant for over a year and the weight is very difficult to get off. When I lost weight 5 years ago I was able to lose around 5-10lbs at week. Now its coming off at a snails pace. My unstable shoulder also makes it difficult to do weight lifting or anything that I need to raise my arms above my head, or out to my sides for. I need to push through all of these obstacles and just do what needs to be done.

I want this post for myself as a reminder of when I began this journey again. Hopefully a year from now I can look back and see where I started from.

I'll treat this blog as my own weight loss diary for now. If anyone is reading this- hi, thanks for stopping by.

Lets do this.

-D